My name is Shanya and I...
I'm a combat flightsimmer.
When last I wrote, I had just jumped with both feet into the world of
combat simming. At the time, I'd only made a few forays against AI planes,
but shortly thereafter I began going online with the very souls who wooed
me into this dark world.... those who I will call the "Usual Suspects."
Oh yes, I had help starting down this path... there's BBall, who schemed
to get an EAW CD to me; Splatt, who found and sent me a manual and key
card; and the mysterious and still-unknown person who sent me a copy
of "To Live and Die in the Virtual Sky"... tell me this wasn't a conspiracy!
Oh, but it was OldFuzzy who really did me in -- he was my first "live"
kill. Admittedly, it was a "gimmee" -- at the end of one of my first
flights online with the Usual Suspects (during which I don't think I
managed so much as a single hit on anyone), he set himself up in front
of me and held it straight and level, telling me to blow the crap out
of him just so I could have a taste of what it was like. At first I didn't
want to do it, but finally I gave in to the urging of my comrades and
hit the button to send him spinning to earth in a glorious rain of flaming
aircraft parts...
Ah, it's true -- you never forget your first.
OldFuzzy may have been my first, but he certainly wasn't my last. I also
might mention he never was so easy to nail again! The Usual Suspects
were absolutely fantastic about striking a balance between showing me
the ropes and not cutting me any more slack than necessary so I'd have
the chance to develop as a reasonable combat pilot… and let me tell you,
the "slack" disappeared in a hurry once I started figuring out how to
shoot back effectively! I'm very pleased to say I feel I am generally
treated as an equal among the guys with whom I fly regularly. Oh sure,
we have references to things like the broken zipper on my flight suit
(the number one cause of spins, to hear some of them talk), but when
it comes to the actual flying I'm just another pilot. The Usual Suspects
truly are a fine group of pilots and human beings, and I'm proud to fly
with them.
This past summer as I was working on my real-world instrument rating,
I found flying combat to be the absolute best way to unwind after hours
of concerted attempts at extremely precise flying. Maybe that's because
in combat the emphasis is on looking outside (that's where the other
guy is, after all), and precision has a whole different meaning when
you're drawing a bead on that plane in front of you.... or dodging the
one behind. It probably didn't hurt that I often would imagine my instructor
in the plane I had targeted... splash one! Heh heh…
Oh, but there is a darker side to my adventures as a female flightsimmer.
Because I'm on the far end of the time zones, I can't always fly with
the Usual Suspects when the urge strikes -- many of them (I didn't say
"all," Splatt!) are sensibly in bed by the time I'm ready to settle in
for an evening's combat. So I will venture forth into the wide world
and join in games at random. After the very positive experience of flying
with the Usual Suspects, the reactions of random simmers to having a
woman in the sky with them have been interesting, and run the gamut from
fascinated to indifferent to outright hostile.
One time I found myself flying an intercept mission with a reasonable
bunch of guys who got so busy watching me shoot down enemy planes ("Hey,
look at that, she really got that one, didn't she?") they sorta forgot
to watch their own tails… oops. To be fair, the next flight went a lot
better and we successfully completed a few subsequent missions. Overall,
it was a fun crowd, and we had a good time.
I also have had the joy of participating in a couple of truly great random
furballs where the attitude from the start was if you can't take the
heat, don't get in the game, and we don't care if you're a man, a woman,
or a small furry creature of indeterminate sex. Aside from flying with
the Usual Suspects, those are the ones that keep me coming back.
I've been in a few games that started out where I felt I was being "humored"
and "allowed" to be in the game so long as I didn't get in anyone's way.
In those cases, it seemed nobody made any effort to target me until I
surprised someone by shooting them down... hey, sometimes even girls
get lucky, right? Luck or no, honor must be preserved, and almost invariably
I was targeted by the offended pilot the moment he respawned (as one
would expect). Cool, it's good to be in the game. Sometimes he'd get
me, sometimes I'd get him. At this point (regardless of the outcome),
I might be accepted as just another pilot and we'd have a decent mayhem.
However, if I came out on top a second time, I'd have to say that more
than 50% of the time the splash was followed by a message saying the
downed pilot had left the game. To their credit, the remaining pilots
(if any) usually just laughed at the departed bruised ego(s) and included
me in the game like any other pilot. I appreciate those guys.
A couple of times I found myself the unwitting number one primary target
in the sky. I tried not to make it easy for them, but with half a dozen
guys bearing down on me as an undeclared team it was tough to stay in
the air, and no sooner would I respawn than they were all after me again.
I'd hang in for a while in the hopes that they'd get over it, but anyone,
male or female, would get sick of this after a time and seek their fun
elsewhere. As much as I hate to let these sorts of people "win" in that
regard, I'm no exception. I will admit I dream of the day I might be
able to turn it around on a group like that, kinda like I dream of dropping
water balloons on cruise ships from a Cessna -I'll probably never do
it, but it sure is a fun thought. Maybe that's why I hang in there for
as long as I can when I meet them.
One night not long ago it seemed every time I would join a game, everyone
would leave the room immediately. Three times in a row it happened. I'm
not sure what was going on with that - perhaps they were meaning to make
it a private game and I got in before they could set a password. Whatever
it was, it was annoying, and I never did find anyone to fly with that
night.
Some nights are worse than others, and really, I'm not complaining. Sure,
it's frustrating sometimes, but everyone (myself included) has the right
to leave the room if they don't like the way the game is going. However,
my experiences and observations might serve to help shed some light on
that question of why more women don't get involved in combat sims. Then
again, maybe not. They certainly have served to reinforce how fortunate
I am to have fallen in with the particular gang of pilots I have (although
I'm sure my mother would prefer I'd taken up with thieves and murderers,
or at least with the piano player at the brothel).
Overall, and despite some of the attitudes I've encountered, I'm still
having way too much fun with this. As for the rest of my life... well,
judging by the noises from the other side of the room, my significant
other still is playing EverQuest, and the parrot now does a very convincing
imitation of a 20mm cannon blast followed by maniacal laughter. Unfortunately,
sometime in the last few months (I'm not sure when) my son seems to have
decided that vacuuming the carpet really isn't all that much fun... I
think he's still here somewhere under the dust. Hey, did you know dust
bunnies have a high R-factor and make great insulation?
