by Dan "CRASH" Crenshaw

I first got into computers when I saw the original Microsoft Flight Simulator on an Apple IIe when I was in high school. Air combat has always held an interest for me and I was going to get a chance to play like a pilot in a game. I wanted to fly in the NAVY but due to a variety of "life changes" I never got the opportunity to even try. So my fix was going to have to come from computers. Since then I have progressed to bigger and more powerful computers and better, more realistic and more detailed simulations. But sitting behind a monitor is just not the same thing.

Many years back I heard of a couple of companies that were offering to take folks up in an aerobatic aircraft and simulate real dog fighting. It wasn't cheap. Being relatively young, a wife, house payment, 1 kid and another on the way ... coming up with the money to do this was just out of the question. Over the years I have met a few folks that flew with one or the other of these companies. They always raved about it and had a uniquely different perspective of how well flight sims simulate air combat. Having a lot of fighter pilot friends and connections, I knew that flight sims are lacking in various areas ... but I had not EXPERIENCED it. I tried to get a fix by writing a book taking real life air combat maneuvers (that I became obsessed with understanding and knowing) and transferring that knowledge to a flight sim. I interviewed many real life fighter pilots and read every bit of technical data I could get my hands on. But I had still not EXPERIENCED it. But I knew ... one day I would.

Well, life has been good to me, I have gotten older, my family is growing up ... and I have a bit more "expendable" income than when I was younger. I told my wife, "for my 40th birthday ... I am going to fly Air Combat USA ... almost 900 bones ... don't argue with me, you won't win." And went off to look at dates and find someone to fly against.

It was a belated birthday gift, but July 26th, 2003 I got my flight. Finding an adversary was not tough at all. At one of our regular LAN meets (100th AFW Buddy Boys) I told the fellas what I was planning to do ... and everyone got real excited and wanted to go too. Unfortunately, most of my LAN partners are at the same age I was when I first heard about Air Combat USA. And the expendable cash was just not available. However, Lou YODA Mayers, an "elderly gent" that I have been flying sims with for almost 10 years was ready to go NOW. YODA is retired, an ex-pilot instructor and former Marine Sniper, master of the quick one liners and a great friend. We normally fly cooperatively, but YODA and I regularly will mix it up head to head. In a jet sim, YODA doesn't much care to fight with me. He says I make him look bad and kill him too fast. High speed, high angles and high energy dog fighting fits my style ... and an over powered plane to help me get out of stupid mistakes never hurts. But in prop sims ... I feel pretty much the same way YODA does. YODA flys prop planes on the edge, stall buzzers blaring, buffeting and stalling, he flies with finesse and style. We laugh a lot when he runs me into the ground while I am padlocked onto him on my 6 (no, that is NOT how I got my call sign, but it was fitting none the less). Remember these points, we will talk about them again later.

YODA and I set our date and started flying the SF260 Marchetti in Flight Sim 2002 with the paint scheme from Air Combat USA. We would be flying in July when they visit the Livermore Airport near where we live. This gave us about 5 months of practicing before the day. I became rather adept at over stressing the little plane pretty easy. Each LAN meet before we flew the Marchetti's, the other guys all started taking bets on who would win - 6 engagements ... Evenstrain figured they may let me get one kill so I didn't feel too bad. YODA and I never talked smack ... we never had to ... the knuckleheads we LAN with were more than up to THAT task at least. YODA and I were more interested in the experience and getting up and REALLY doing what we pretend to do.

I showed up a bit early, we were scheduled for 10 AM but I did not want traffic to hose me. So I walked around the Livermore host of ACUSA, Attitude Aviation for a while. A few T-6 Texans, a L-39 that you can get a ride in, an Extra 200 was there and various other unique aircraft. I could have spent all morning just looking at those planes had it not been for the 2 gray camo painted ACUSA planes begging me to come have a look. My first impression was DAMN, this plane is small. I am not a little guy, 6'1" and about 275 lbs, little spaces and I don't really get along well. But that was not going to stop me. 

After a little looking and picture taking I went back towards the briefing room. There were two guys getting briefed for their 9AM flight and were just going out. YODA showed up and we went out and watched them suit up, squeeze in and take off. Then it was our turn to go get the briefing and suited up. 

We were greeted by Jad Dennis, a former F-16 pilot. Jad was friendly and we had some small talk about who we were and what we did. I wore an F-14 t-shirt that day ... bad choice. Our pilots were F-16 jocks and Jad made sure I knew I choked on the choice. "But I do have a few F-16 shirts too!" "Yeah, sure ya do, I am flying with you Lou." During the pre-brief and chit-chat, YODA made sure he was aware we were flight sim geeks and that we were ready to see what real world combat felt like and acted like. As Jad went through our briefing, he became aware pretty quickly that the briefing was way too basic for us. We ran over many basics quickly and then talked about more complex maneuvers and situations. He did stop to clarify a few terms and acronyms that were new to us or rusty in our minds. He was very certain we knew what a WHITE MIC was and where to find one if we needed to "talk into one". "Now, don't feel bad if you use the WHITE MIC 2 or 3 times ... it happens, not a big deal. We have all used the WHITE MIC at one time or another." I tell you, when I travel now and see a barf bag I get a smile on my face ... probably confuses other passengers to no end. 

He also had to refresh our memories on I.Y.A.C.Y.A.T. (If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying). But as we went through the rules of air combat ... we determined that the rule that meant the most to the real fighter pilots should be moved up to first on the list ... LOOK GOOD ... as Jad would say, "cuz if ya look good, you're flyin' good." With just a hint of drawl as you say it. And with that we suited up. Now remember I said I am a big guy ... well, they actually had a flight suit that fit ... a little snug, but not uncomfortable. Yoda got suited up and had to put on his helmet beanie for a Kodak moment. Now briefed, suited up and full off anticipation ... it was our turn to go flying.

We went out and got our pilots assigned. When you tell someone you flew in a fighter trainer, they look at you a little skeptically at first. So it is important to explain how this works. Air Combat USA uses The SIAI Marchetti SF-260 aircraft. This is a side by side propeller driven aircraft capable of +6 Gs to -3 Gs. You get to fly on the left side of the aircraft and a real fighter pilot (or former fighter pilot) sits next to you. He has all the gauges and does take offs, landings and is there to keep you from doing anything stupid. He also gives you training, advice, and is an extra set of eyes. You are suited up with a full flight suit and helmet as well as a parachute. You are given basic instructions on how to operate it and how to get out of the harness and plane fast if you need too. I am not embarrassed to tell you I suddenly became a bit uncomfortable. I was not nervous at all ... but this little speech sort of brought it all home. WTF WAS I DOING???? Jad explained they never had to use it and that the only reason that you would ever jump out of this plane was if it lost a wing or was on fire. Otherwise they could dead stick it anywhere. That was not my problem .. my problem was, looking at the size of that aircraft, how hard it was just to get IN, much less try to release an unfamiliar buckle and climb out of a plane going down in an emergency ... then FINDING the D ring to pull. It was more than a few seconds I stood there and thought all of this through before I said to myself ... "you have been in clutch situations before ... if you have to, you WILL get out ... like a cat out of a bathtub." I thought little more about it again. Relating this story to friends later, most laughed about me being nervous and said something along the lines of "you would have ripped that little plane apart with your bare hands to get out of it, what the heck were YOU worried about!"

Jad Dennis, our pre-briefer, was our flight lead and was assigned to YODA (since I was being shunned for my t-shirt choice). I was paired up with Rhon Manor, a former F/A-18 instructor pilot (GO NAVY!) and a current Fresno ANG F-16 pilot. It turned out to be "the old guys vs. the middle aged guys". I heard Jad tell YODA, "lets go kick some butt". I just looked at Rhon with that sad look and asked, "so how did you get the short straw?" "Uh?" he responded ... "well, they call me CRASH ... good thing you are doing the landing!". He sort of rolled his eyes and said, "oh great". Our relationship was off to a roaring start!

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